


Nothing Says I Love You Like Following Procedure

by TheARTboss



Category: Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Falling In Love, First Time, Get Together, M/M, No Spoilers, SHIELD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-30
Updated: 2012-04-30
Packaged: 2017-11-04 13:59:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/394649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheARTboss/pseuds/TheARTboss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or Clint Barton’s Guide to the Proper Care of a Handler</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing Says I Love You Like Following Procedure

**Author's Note:**

> This is my favorite pairing from the Marvel Movie verse. I love both the characters and can't wait to see the movie. THIS HAS NO SPOILERS!

XXX

These are the steps on how to seduce a SHIELD agent. 

XXX

Step One: Follow all orders without hesitation. 

“If our guy doesn’t show up can I just start taking out pedestrians?” 

“I asked for radio silence agent.” Coulson’s clipped tone almost made Clint shut up, but then again...

“I bet I could write out your initials with their bodies from up here.” Clint swore he could hear Coulson’s lips quirk into an almost smile, the same thing most people mistook for a grimace. “I promise to make their death’s quick, no need to make them suffer for my art.”

“How humane of you Barton, now shut up. Radio silence for the next two hours or there will be consequences.” Clint heard the distinct click of Coulson silencing his comm. 

That was no fun, Coulson always had the worst punishments, never the good kind. Last time Clint had disobeyed an order he had been demoted to janitor for two weeks which had not been fun to wake up to find his bow and quiver missing and replacing them was a mop bucket and dull blue jumpsuit. 

Not that Clint had cleaned anything, but his security had been changed too and he could only get into SHIELD’s first floor. 

It had been fun breaking into the upper floors and crawling through the air ducts though. Clint had also discovered some great places to hide his weapons, just in case of emergencies of course. 

So maybe Coulson’s punishments weren’t that bad. 

Maybe...

“Sir, am I allowed to choose the consequences or do you have a wheel in your office that you spin? Because-”

It would be worth the exasperated look Coulson gave him four hours later when the mission was complete without a hitch, it would not be worth the 24 hours he was assigned as Agent Hill’s personal assistant. 

XXX

Step Two: Always fill out all paperwork completely and in a timely manner. 

“Barton.” Coulson’s voice was not loud but his tone carried across the cafeteria to the point where the whole room went silent. Clint leaning back on his stool to look at the man at the double door entrance. “A word.”

Clint left his tray with the junior agents knowing they would clean up after him since no one made Coulson wait. Not even archers who knew that said Agent Coulson was not actually a robot sent from the future to prevent Fury from taking over the world. Clint got into step beside the older man as they made it out into the hall and away from the rather large audience. 

“How can I help you, sir?”

“What is this?” Coulson stepped to the side of the hall as to not avert traffic and held up a stack of twenty sticky notes with small handwriting on them. It even looked like a few were shaped like hearts. 

“My field report sir, you said you wanted by this morning. Is there information missing?” Clint kept his face blank as Coulson glared at him. 

Clint also knew, despite the rumors, that Coulson’s glare could not actually melt the off a human’s face and that one time in the lab didn’t count because Coulson hadn’t been glaring, he had been staring intently as a lab accident went wrong. 

Clint licked his lips before opening his mouth only to be cutt off as Coulson sighed.

“I expect you to rewrite this report on approved SHIELD letterhead, and have this resubmitted to me within the next hour or I will tell R&D that you volunteer for their medical research experimentations for the next 48 hours.” Coulson’s eyes did not falter as they stared straight back at Clint. 

All Clint could think about was the man with the melting face and how the cream he had put on had just been R&D’s original sunscreen test. 

“It will be on your desk in ten minutes, sir.” Clint grabbed his sticky notes and strategically retreated to his room. 

He would find another use for the heart shaped notes another day. 

XXX

Step Three: Always show up on time. (And if you can’t constant contact is a must)

Phil Coulson, agent of SHIELD was not one to worry. 

“Where is he?” He would have kicked the door open if the damn thing didn’t just slide on its own. He frowned at Agent Sitwell who was typing furiously at his computer and Agent Romanoff who was glaring at him as she stood at the ready. 

“No contact since 0500, he missed check in twelve and thirteen.” A junior agent Coulson remembered as Martin refused to look up at Coulson as he gave the update. 

Natasha continued her glare until Coulson finally met it with a glare of his own. “You are not allowed to go in, I will not have two of my agents compromised.”

“I will not fail.” Her voice was steady and Coulson weighed the options in his head. She noticed his hesitation and continued, her voice lighter but still as sharp as steel. “It is Barton, sir.”

Coulson had the urge to tighten his hands into a fist but remained still as he thought through the possibilities. There was at least fifteen possibilities that would work in an extraction to retrieve both the target and Clint but only seven would work if Clint was alive. 

“Sir..” Agent Martin’s voice was clipped as she tilted her head, trying to hear something in her headphones. 

“Sir, I believe we are receiving some sort of message?” Sitwell spoke before Coulson could bark an order at the junior agent. He was beside Sitwell immediately with his hand up to hold Romanoff in place. 

Coulson grabbed Sitwell’s headphones and put them one quickly. It took a few seconds before a familiar voice broke it’s way through the static sounding far away. 

“When our time is up, when our lives are done...will we say, we've had our fun...” Coulson felt something twitch in his cheek at Clint’s off key singing. “Something...something....We’re standing in the rooftops, everybody scream your heart out! I’m standing on the rooftop-”

“Agent Romanoff, grab the men outside and the hellicopter. Go in strong and get him off that damn roof.” Agent Romanoff was already out the door before Coulson could yell, “And tell him to stop singing the Lost Prophets.”

XXX

Step Four: Always Follow Protocol (especially when injured)

“You are an idiot.” Clint opened one of his eyes to find Coulson leaning over him. That would explain the pressure on his shoulder. 

“Couldn’t let that sniper take you out, sir, I haven’t even taken you to dinner yet.” Clint groaned as Coulson applied more pressure to the gunshot wound. He could hear shouting in the background, it looked like one of the buildings was still in the process of falling but he guessed it wasn’t his problem at the moment.

“You’re more important than that Barton.” Coulson chided through grit teeth. “You are an Avenger.”

“And you, sir, are the wind beneath my wings.” Clint watched as Coulson’s jaw did that twitch thing it always did whenever Clint was in the room. 

He took pride in that twitch. 

“You’re bleeding a lot.” Coulson face grimaced at whatever he was seeing before he turned his attention back to make eye contact with Clint. “If you die, I will go back in time to kill you myself.”

“Promises, promises.” Clint groaned before he smirked. “We can’t even have a proper date first can we?”

Coulson paused before he moved his attention back to Clint’s shoulder. “You would have to ask me on a date first, Barton, before that could even happen.”

“Oh.” Clint found himself smiling while Coulson continued frowning at the shoulder wound. He lifted the arm that Coulson wasn’t currently holding in place but only managed to place it over Coulson’s hands that were pressing against the wound. “That makes sense.”

“That’s kind of a creepy smile for someone who just got shot.” Tony Stark’s face appeared over Coulson’s shoulder. 

“Tony Stark, moment ruiner...” Clint coughed slightly before he sighed. Ignoring whatever Tony was saying to his comment and instead paying attention to that twitch that was back in Coulson’s jaw. 

He might actually love that twitch. 

XXX

Step Five: Take Advantage of SHIELD’s Open Door Policy. 

“Fuck!” Coulson grit his teeth together as he slammed his hand down on the desk, his foot digging into Clint’s back as the archer nearly bent him in half. The slow slide of Clint’s cock in him causing him to swear again. 

“You are...” Clint kissed Coulson’s shoulder, biting along his neck until he found the older man’s lips to continue talking against them. “A man of few words.”

“If you don’t fuck me like a man, I will break every bone in your body that you don’t require to shoot an arrow with.” Coulson grabbed the back of Clint’s head and pulled the archer forward into a biting kiss. “How is that for a few words?”

“Oh my god.” Clint groaned as he started pounding in hard and faster, Coulson’s hand on his desk slid knocking off all the remaining paperwork that had survived Clint’s first attack. 

“Finally.” Coulson groaned as his head fell back against the desk, the hand that wasn’t holding onto Clint in a vice grip moved to stroke himself. “To think we could have been doing this for years...”

“Shut up.” Clint groaned as his pace started stuttering. “You didn’t even like me until I took a bullet for you.”

“Ha.” Coulson let out a weird noise that sounded like something between a laugh and a groan as Clint thrusted as hard as he could. Both men groaned, Coulson coming over his fingers and between their bodies as Clint came hard inside the SHIELD agent, biting onto Coulson’s shoulder to muffle his noises. 

“Who said I ever started liking you?” Coulson panted with a smirk as he wiped some of Clint’s hair out of his face. 

“I would say my feelings are hurt, sir.” Clint rocked against Coulson a few times causing both of them to groan before he pulled out slowly. “But I figure you’ll give in eventually, they all do.”

Coulson just made a pleased noise and Clint found himself smiling into the older man’s shoulder before reluctantly pulling back. Coulson graced him with a small smile and a sigh before he pushed himself up.

It only took a few minutes before the messed was cleaned and evidence disposed before Clint opened the door to Coulson’s office and stepped out into the hallway. 

“Was there anything else you needed to discuss with me, Agent Barton?” Coulson stood as immaculate as ever, nothing but straight lines and a perpetually bored face. 

“No sir, I believe all my needs were met.” Clint grinned at that twitch in Coulson’s jaw before he noticed Natasha in the hallway rolling her eyes at them before stomping off. Well, Clint had never good at hiding a good thing and going by the expression on Steve’s face, they probably weren’t fooling anyone. 

XXX


End file.
